Amy Dickinson • Especially for the Postmedia Network
Date of publication:
April 29, 2022 • 1 week ago • 3 minutes of reading • 8 comments In this photo, a man uses a COVID-19 rapid antigen test kit at home on September 29, 2021 in Sydney, Australia. Photo by Getty Images / Toronto Sun.
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Dear Amy: My mom has invited me, my husband and our two teens to her house for a special occasion dinner.
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Our household and my mom have been vaccinated and supported for COVID. My brother, who does not live with our mom and has no underlying diseases, is also vaccinated and refreshed, but wants us to do a quick test before we arrive (according to our mom). I’m disappointed that my brother put our mom in the middle. I have warned our mother that we will not do a quick test, which we think is completely unnecessary at this point in the pandemic. If this is a problem, we will stay home. My husband agrees with me. Is my brother irrational? – Upset Dear upset: No, you are. Vaccinated individuals receive and transmit COVID to other vaccinated individuals. And a person may have the virus in the early stages and not be aware of it, something that a quick examination would reveal.
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As an adult, your mother may have worse symptoms than you if she contracted the virus. I recently attended a multi-day event and did a quick test every day before attending any event with groups of people who do not belong in my home. During this time, I will also have a test and wear a mask outside the home if I have cold symptoms. this is trying to protect other people who do not belong in your circle. It is relatively easy to do a test at home and at this point in the pandemic – where a variation appears – why refuse to do it? You care enough to get vaccinated, but is this the hill you refuse to climb? Your mother may be transmitting this message from your brother, but she is not the only one putting it in the middle – you too.
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If you have a problem with his request, you may need to discuss it with him directly. Once he has explained his reasoning, it may seem more logical to you and then you may be willing to do a very simple thing – even if only for someone else’s peace of mind. Sorry, but this video failed to load. Dear Amy: I met my boyfriend shortly after the separation from my husband of 24 years. The marriage was good for many years, with two sons I love very much. I finally found out that my husband was living a double life – he is gay and had a lot of homosexual relationships during our marriage. Of course I was devastated and left the wedding. My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years. The last two years have not been good. He is warm, controlling and very disrespectful.
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For the past eight months, he has been going to our neighbor’s house – every day, eight or nine times a day. It has become a huge problem between us. He says I’m trying to control him. The neighbor is 41, unemployed and spends all his time smoking a pot and playing video games. I do not want to be in a relationship where they do not respect me, fire me and put me on a shelf until he is ready for me. I’m ready to leave. I tried to talk to him, but he was only interested in pointing at me. He suggested we go to couples counseling, but I said that if he is not willing to discuss his issues, counseling will not work. He wants to do what he wants, when he wants and with whoever he wants. Sounds like he wants to live as a single man without being accountable to anyone!
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What is your opinion on this? – He’s bored Dear Fed Up: My view: We all want what we want when we want it. That includes you. It seems controlled for you to state that the treatment “will not work” unless you follow a path that you dictate. On the other hand, given your background, your husband’s behavior would trigger your own sense of loss. Your relationship is broken. Maybe your husband should move in with his neighbor. Then you will decide if you want to allow him to visit. Dear Amy: “Sad” wrote to you about her friend who had an elderly pet but could not leave it. Years ago, I saw on a TV show something that stuck with me. If your pet is suffering, remember that saying goodbye and relieving it of pain is the ultimate act of love. – I was there Dear Been There: This end-of-life responsibility is the highest and most demanding appeal to people who love their pets.
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